You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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