scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
