i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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