I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
