it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
