420 ftw
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
