is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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