Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
