i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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