READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
