You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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