I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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