This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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