Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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