i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
