tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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