i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
