We're facebook friends in real life
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
