Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
