Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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