Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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