I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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