We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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