we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
