yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
