Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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