"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
