Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
