I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
