Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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