I think I died a long time ago.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize