"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize