I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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