I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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