god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
