thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
