in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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