I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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