I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
