After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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