So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
