Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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