Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize