I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Who wears a wallet chain?!
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
