Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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