some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
