Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
