Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
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