don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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