I think I am morally bankrupt
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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