You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
