I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
What did we do last night that was yellow?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
