My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i will never coherently bang her
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
