I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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