She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
