hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
