Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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